Don’t We All Long For A Well?

Dear friends, as you can imagine, here in Israel we all long for peace and the end of this horrible nightmare that surrounds us every day. Twenty years ago – it was during our “peaceful” life, of course – I wrote in my book: “A trip abroad from Israel, to some “normal” country, is somewhat like taking a trip to the moon.” These days, when my friends go abroad for a short vacation, the pictures they send seem sent from another galaxy. I’ve been living in Israel for more than thirty years, and all these years I’ve kept asking the Lord: “Why?” Why are we not allowed to simply live like all the rest? Why is what others consider a normal life so totally remote, such an impossibility, a dream that can never come true for us, ‘the chosen ones’? Why has the history of Israel been one of incessant horror for the duration of the past two millennium—a history of cries and moans, blood and smoke, truly a story of fire and a knife, accompanying our ascent to the altar?  “Why?” I asked the Lord. “Why have the people You love, chose, and called Your own, been forced to face such unbelievable sorrows?”

The Lord has answered me through the books He gave me to write. And today I want to share with you my thoughts about Hagar – after all, she is the mother of Ishmael! I am certainly well aware of the fact that many Arab people don’t see themselves as Ishmael’s descendants; however, I do believe that there is a biblical basis and a spiritual reality behind our complicated visible reality, and in this sense, Hagar is a proper biblical character to begin with.[1]

Sarah’s Egyptian slave Hagar, Ishmael’s mother, occupies quite a unique (and quite an overlooked) place in the Bible for many different reasons: She is the first runaway slave; the first woman in Abraham’s family who conceived and carried a child; the first slave that was freed. There is something, however, that puts her in an especially unique and significant position: No other woman, throughout the whole Scripture, is recorded as having heard God speak to her twice. She is not just the first woman in the Bible to have an epiphany twice; she is the only woman in the Bible to have an epiphany twice!

We are in Genesis 21, after Hagar and Ishmael had been banished from Abraham’s camp. May I remind you that Hagar’s first epiphany was in Genesis 16:  As Sarah was “dealing harshly” with her pregnant maid, Hagar decided to flee. She ran away to the wilderness. Then we read that an angel of the Lord found Hagar by a spring in the desert. And He said, “Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?”[2]

Remarkably, the pattern of that epiphany in Genesis 16 differs drastically from what we are about to read in Genesis 21. In Genesis 16, it doesn’t say directly where the angel was. It says he found Hagar by a spring in the desert, it seems that he was disguised as a random wayfarer who just began to talk to her. The very fact that she answers him and they are having a conversation suggests a more mundane situation than hearing a voice from heaven. In this sense, it differs substantially from Genesis 21, where the Angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven.

Still, there are Hagar, the Angel, and the wilderness in both chapters. If one decided to create a play based on this story, one would probably use the same scenery in both scenes. But what were the differences?

The first and the most obvious difference, of course, is that now Hagar is not alone. She is with her son. Ishmael is next to her and that makes the whole situation altogether different, even though the scenery is the same. A further comparison of these scenes should teach us a lot about being grateful and appreciating what we have. She thought, and so did we, that she was desperate then, back in Genesis 16. Now, as we see her in Genesis 21, we cannot help but think how much better off she was then, compared to what she was experiencing now. Then, she knew her way well and didn’t get lost (or didn’t think she was lost). Then, she was next to the spring of water and wasn’t thirsty (or didn’t think she was thirsty). Then, she was not dying (or didn’t think she was dying). Then, she didn’t need God to save her (or didn’t think she needed God to save her). Therefore, she didn’t call upon the Lord; she didn’t expect Him to appear. And yet, He came and transformed her heart completely.

Things are very different in Genesis 21. First, we read here that she wandered in the desert around Beer-Sheva. Can you imagine? Hagar is now lost. In Genesis 16, the girl knew her way in the wilderness well. How and why did she get lost this time?

I suppose that being with Ishmael and feeling a huge responsibility for her son’s life made her more nervous and less strong; more vulnerable and less confident. This is probably the reason she lost her way. She feels responsible, not only for herself now, but for her son as well, and as a result she got lost in the wilderness that she used to know so well.

There is an inevitable tragic consequence of getting lost in the wilderness, and they had to face this tragic consequence soon enough: They were left without water. This is, again, a crucial difference from the first scene. While the young girl from Genesis 16 did not have any problems with water, since she was next to a spring, now in Genesis 21, the mother and son are out of water. They are dying without water; physically, literally dying.

Let us sum up the differences. First of all, Hagar seems to be in a much worse situation now, compared to Genesis 16. Nothing can be compared with the anguish of a mother’s heart when her child is suffering, and this is the torment she is going through right now, in Genesis 21. Furthermore, though we are watching the same Hagar, she is still a very different woman from the one we saw in Genesis 16. She was angry then, but she is really hurting now. The obstinate girl who knew her way and knew what she wanted, is gone; the feeble, vulnerable mother, worrying about her son and desperately trying to save him, has taken her place. I believe that this is precisely why her second epiphany was so different from the first one.

It is amazing to witness how God responded in each of these two situations; how He touched her life and her heart in two completely different ways. He knew that the girl of Genesis 16, more than anything else, needed a change of heart. She thought her circumstances were difficult, and they were indeed. She thought she was going through terrible hardships, and she was indeed. However, more than anything else she needed to be changed from within, and God knew that! The terrible storms and the endless torment of her soul, the love and the hatred, the accusations and the guilt, the bitterness and the pity, all intertwined and twisted, had made her hurt constantly, so more than anything else, she needed peace in her heart! Therefore, when the Angel appeared before Hagar in Genesis 16, God gave her this peace. He didn’t change any of her circumstances, but He completely changed her heart. This transformation of the heart was so powerful and so real for her that it was after this encounter that she named God, El Roi, the One-Who-Sees-Me.

As impressive and wonderful as it is, the miracle of Genesis 21 would not have happened if the miracle of Genesis 16 had not taken place in Hagar’s heart first. It is the same in our lives: God knows—and only He knows—when it is the heart that needs healing, even though circumstances seem harsh, and when the situation really needs a visible breakthrough. When the heart is transformed, He will open the eyes to see a “well of water”.

I would love to finish with a “happy ending” to Hagar’s and Ishmael’s story. In a sense, their story does have a happy end: after God had saved them in the wilderness, they indeed seemed to live happily ever after. So God was with the lad; and he grew and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer. He dwelt in the Wilderness of Paran; and his mother took a wife for him from the land of Egypt.

However, the countless generations of Hagar’s and Sarah’s children, don’t have this happy ending in their stories. Even before this war, those of us living in the land of Israel—on both sides—had been feeling the pangs of this never-ending pain again and again; had been covered by the disgusting pus oozing from those never-healing wounds again and again. As you can imagine, these pangs have become much worse during the last nine months—and don’t we all long for a well that would save us?

Perhaps the story of Hagar is meant to teach us a profound lesson, after all.  Yes, we desperately want the visible circumstances to be changed, but before the visible circumstances change, and for them to change, an invisible transformation of the heart has to take place first. The healing of the heart comes first. We won’t be able to see the well in the wilderness unless we know, with every cell of our being, that the One Who sees us lives! I know most of you are praying for Israel regularly, but today I want to remind you that there are but a few people, both in Israel and in the countries that attack us, who make the decisions. And we all have to bear the consequences of their decisions, whether we agree with them or not. It is for their hearts we need to pray.

[1] If you are interested to learn more about this biblically-based, spiritual reality in the everyday lives of these two different peoples who are incredibly close and incredibly hostile at the same time, you might be interested to read my book, “Abraham had two sons”. 

[2] Genesis 16:8